Shiloh is such an emotional topic for me on so many levels. Shiloh is my last baby. She is also my first and only girl. Having a girl brings back a lot from my past and my childhood for some reason. For my girl life will be different. I will protect her! I will nurture her, love her, cherish her. I will build her self esteem and makes sure she knows her worth. I will teach her to love herself and to always remember that she teaches people how to treat her. I will teach her to guard her heart but to not be afraid to love and let go. I will teach her she matters, she is heard, I care about every single thing she has to say. I will make sure she knows she can come to me anytime about anything. I will teach her to be strong and brave yet gentle and vulnerable. I will make sure she knows she doesnt have to conform to any gender role society tries to force on her.
I remember the moment they annouced shilohs sex in the drs office. I can feel all the feelings as if it was yesterday. When they told me it was a girl I screamed out in the most joyful cry of my life. I was balling on that table, I didnt care where I was or who heard me, I was lost in the moment, I was so incredibly and deeply happy to have a chance to raise a girl in this world. I love my boys, that goes without saying. But theres a different kind of love for my girl. I love each of my children in very unique and different ways, actually im always amazed at how much love my heart can actually hold without bursting.
Theres the silly reasons a mom wants a girl, dress up, pedi dates, make up, shopping, etc. Im as thrilled about these things as any mom. She has been a brand rep on instagram since she was 4 months old so fashion she knows well. (There will be plenty of posts on repping and fashion in the future) The instagram community and brand repping saved me through the most horrific case of post pardum depression right after shilohs birth. Another thing we dont talk about anywhere near often enough but we should and we need to and I will soon.
Then there is the purely selfish reasons for wanting a girl, like living the childhood I always wanted but never got through her, having a chance to do it right, right the wrongs that were done to me. Then theres a whole other level to raising a woman into this world, the deep stuff, the impact she will have, the changes shes capable of making. The fact that she too will one day become a mom and raise children of her own, and will have learned how to be a mom from me. Its a lot yall. Its a lot.
We are raising human beings, real people, its a lot to take in. You look at them as babies and kids and forget that I think sometimes. Its a scarey thought raising girls in todays world, it can be a scarey place for them but I will tell you this. The world will not change for your little girl, it is your job to prepare her for this world. Now for the fun part. Let me tell you a bit about Shiloh. She is only 18 months old so I dont know all that much about her just yet but some things have been crystal clear since birth. Shiloh is fierce, sassy, she holds her own and takes no ones shit. These are things I love so very much about her and I would never want to tame her. She is very cautious and careful with who she has relationships with, I hope thats a lifeling trait. She absolutely adores her big brothers.
She lights the room with her smile when she sees them. She freaks out in excitement anytime they come around even if she saw them 2 mintutes prior. They also love her deeply, deeply! They have an intense drive to protect her and keep her safe. Another thing I hope lasts forever!
She is absolutely hilarious, FULL of personality. Non verbal yet blows my mind how well she communities. When she loves she loves hard. When shes pissed, you will know it, shes not afraid to scream or throw something. Shes a wild one!
Shes always happy, sweet and loving as she can possibly be. Such a special sweet heart. I love her more then words could ever explain. Shes my girl.
Shilohs IG: @sweetest_shiloh